Wednesday 16 March 2011
Life or Death?
If one could choose to live or die how would one decide? What questions would you ask yourself? What's my life worth? Who will miss me? Whats will my quality of life going to be like? I often ask myself these questions and my answers are always the same. I have achieved nothing, i have no assets, no family or career so my life is worth very little. A few people may miss me but time is a healer when grief strikes and life goes on for those i leave behind. I know that i will never live a long life and if the time i got left will be full of suffering why decide to live? I know that there are millions of people out there more worst of than me but for me i've come to the end of my tether and cannot carry on any longer. My liver disease i can deal with but everything else i feel like i can no longer cope with. The stress, the emotional aches and pains, people not accepting me for what i have become after my surgery. I try so hard to put a brave face and hide all the emotional scars but now i just want to let go as i feel like i'm just a joke to everyone or a person without any feelings. I try my best to please people but it seems like whatever i do, it's never right or enough for some people. Anyway enough of my ranting. I just felt i needed to vent and release a bit of frustration. I promise next post will be a happier one.
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2 comments:
My everdearest cousin,
Trust God. Look at the brighter side..there are a lot of good things happened to us, around us..
there may be people who doesn't deserved our time and love but still we have shared these things to them..the nice part is...you've learn to love than haven't loved at all! Did i make sense? We have all different stories to share, but one thing is for sure..every person around you who truly
loves you are the ones who stands right besides you.. God never give us something we cannot handle..and we are all here to support each other.
I maybe far but you are always in our thoughts and in our prayers..I know you are strong, Maribel. Those stress, emotional aches and pains are nothing to you.
A lot of people here loves you and cares for you. And more to come ... coming from our generations. So keep being a strong person whom i have known since then.. because I
trust the Lord that He will always be right beside you. We love you so much, Maribel!
love,
Ate Jenny and Kuya John
You should put faith in god, god always watches us no matter what comes in front of you.when we come across obstacles in life, we feel as if god is not there for us but keep strong you will be surprised. i am in the same boat waiting for a liver transplant and hope everything goes well when the call comes. Good luck Theresa Kane
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