Surgery Dillema

Plans and talks of my next surgery to repair my hernia, close my wound and revise my scar have been going on for almost 2 years now and is getting me more frustrated and depressed as the pain is getting worst, my mobility is being compromised and i no longer have a social life. The intial plan was to wait for my scar to heal more and wait for my surgeon Prof Rela to come back from India this September. However as usual things never go my way and when Mr Rela returned to the UK he decided to resign so now the dilemma is who is willing to do thhe surgery??? Being such a complicated case most of the surgeons didn't want to take me on and so now i am hoping the other top surgeon, Prof Heaton will take me on and finally do my surgery. However, after Aneisha passing they were all hoping that it would of put me of the idea of going ahead but it hasn't as at the end of the day we are still individuals and what happened to her may not happen to me but i am willing to take the risk as i can't see myself coping with this life for much longer without becoming very depressed and having to take painkillers every 2-4 hours in order to function.

Jo the liver co-ordinator has been absoloutely amazing in helping me, supporting me and just being there all the time. After Holly my counsellor left i thought i wouldn't be able to cope and if it weren't for Jo i would have probably gone down hill so fast.

The plan now is after speaking to Prof Heaton he said he will look into my notes and have a word with Jo and try to come up with a proper plan that he will follow through. In the meantime they are worried about my mentals state again so Jo is working with the new psychologist and the adult team and the Maudsley to put together a care package for me. They feel it will benefit me to have that guidance again that way i won't go back to my darkest place.

So as you can see that i have been trying to cope with everything and get things rolling as next year i want to get my life back and concentrate on my nursing career.