As you all know that i have been waiting for further surgery to repair my hernia, wound muscle closure and scar revision and i was aware that it was risky operation because of my past medical history but i never knew how high the risks where and the likelihood of them happening unti last Thursdaay when i went to clinic.
I went in all prepared with a list of my issues and questions in regards to the surgery and boy was i not prepared for the answers i got. I saw one of the consultant surgeons who did my transplant and he was very nice and sensitive in the way he told me and when he saw my reaction of fear and dissapointment i could tell that he was very emotional and was even holding back the tears as i was doing too.
These are the answers he gave me:
- it's almost definate or a very high risk that they may perforate another organ or even more during the surgery which will put me back into a critical condition
- a high chance that my recovery time and hospital stay will be very long
- if they perforate another organ(s), i may not make a full recovery or may not survive.
- if i don' have the surgery my quality of life will gradually go down again and may have to resign from my job and not be able to pusrsue my nursing career.
- Long term painkillers will eventually destroy my liver and will result in a third transplant where the chances of me surviving is probably about 10%
- will have to live with hernia and pain and my scar which is for those of you who have seen it is so ugly.
- there is a risk of the hernia blocking my intestines
So as you can see i don't have much choice, either way i go i will eventually need some sort of intervention and if i dont do it know i'm just prolonging the inevitable and the suffering with the pain so i see the best option is to go ahead now, whilst i'm more fit, LFT's are all stable and am stilll mobile so i will have a better chance of recovering after. Although the thought of anything going wrong scares me and i don't know if i have any fight left in me.
Any thoughts???
